Stop Saying No So Much

A photo by Liz Weston.

Yes to everything scary. Yes to everything that takes me out of my comfort zone. Yes to everything that feels like it might be crazy. Yes to everything that feels out of character. Yes to everything that feels goofy. Yes to everything. Everything. Say yes. Yes. – Shonda Rhimes

Hey y’all, if you’ve been occasionally reading the words that crawl out of my overactive brain and onto this here blog, then thank you, and if you’re new to Find Some TLC, you da real MVP.

I’ve been a bit MIA here due to selling my soul, starting my latest job. Kudos to all my millennial brethren if you able to hold down a 9 to 5 without sacrificing your peace of mind or your spirit.

Not only have my writing and creative juices been running a bit dry lately, but so has my lengthy list of 2017 to do’s, which I will not refer to as resolutions, because I’m not about that life.

In an effort to receive at least half of my life, I’ve started yet another self-help book or self improvement if you’re feeling fancy. But this book is not just any ol’ book about how if you don’t love yourself first, no one will…nope. It is Shonda Rhimes’ aka the GOAT of Thursday nights, book “The Year of Yes.”

I’m only a few pages into the book so far, but I haven’t read words that have resonated with me this deeply, in forever. The premise of “The Year of Yes,” is this, Shonda Rhimes who is pretty much winning in terms of being the best who ever did it, realized that at 43, with a bad ass career and her life in order, she was miserable, because she never said yes to the things that scared her. She spent more time playing out worst case scenarios in her head, than actually living out the best case scenario.

Which is me in a nutshell, minus having an entire day of the week dedicated to me.

Not only does this book have me alla the way in my feelings, but it has me asking myself the question: When is the last time I said yes?

Like, to anything. I’ve learned the importance of being swift with a no, like when you’re tired and don’t really wanna go pop lock at the club. No.

When some online man who slid in your DM’s thinks he’s about to slide inside of…Naw.

When anyone or anything tries to encroach upon the last bit of positivity you were able to hold onto in the age of Trump and the end of days. N to the O.

But what have you said yes to lately? I feel like my lips are constantly prepared to say no, out of fear or laziness, but then I’m forced to think about all the experiences I’m missing out on, because saying yes without over analyzing it, without hesitation makes my heart hurt, makes my brain tired, makes my well-built wall crumble a bit.

At 23, I feel like I should be saying yes to 9 out of 10 things, because there will come a day where life won’t allow me to say yes, and when “no,” will become my automated response.

I don’t know if this means I’m going to knock back shots on a Tuesday (p.s. does the club still go up on Tuesdays?) in the name of a year of yes, it’s not that kind of party. But life should indeed be a party, and if it’s your party and you’re the only one not dancing then are you really living?

I gotta start dancing at my own party, and saying yes to more, because I don’t know if anyone told you or not, but you don’t have as much to lose as you think you do.

So say yes.


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