Yes, Fifty Shades Sucks, And?

pexels-photo-248148Here’s a not so secret, secret. My name is Tiffany Lashai Curtis and I am a fan of the “Fifty Shades of Grey,” series, which has become synonymous with poorly written embarrassing prose, and cheesy sexual platitudes, born out of Twilight fan fiction.

Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, let’s address Rachel Simon, an entertainment writer over at Bustle, who in a review of Fifty Shades Darker, wrote that, “Sure, Fifty Shades is a series technically about a woman’s deepest fantasies, but Christian Grey’s controlling behaviors and Ana Steele’s weak-willed personality don’t make most feminists jump for joy.”

Did Simon miss the part where Christian Grey, has spent the last six years or so being a dominant? And also had she read the books, she would see that yes Christian is indeed controlling that’s clear on a surface level, however, Ana actually ends up being the one who overtakes him in many ways.

In just two days after the release of the movie, the interwebs has been hit with piece after piece lamenting about how terrible the movie was, how abusive it’s portrayal of BDSM is, and how unsexy the movie is to which I say, moviegoers, y’all are asking for too much.

If you want to see a feminist romance, where Ana is independent and don’t need no man, this isn’t for you. Heck, if you are looking to the film as a how-to guide for kinks and things this is also not for you.

The movie is full of stilted dialogue and questionable chemistry, with a certain cache for leaving out important details from the book.

But the movie and books for that matter, were never heralded as feminist literature.

The same way that the Magic Mike movies weren’t suddenly feminist because they offered equal opportunity sexual objectification.

Here’s what I take away from the series, it is in alignment with almost every other romance movie churned out by Hollywood, and what I think makes people uncomfortable at its core is that there are indeed several red flags that should have Ana running for the hills.

Remind me again how many of us choose to see a relationship through despite our better judgement? I think people take issues with many of the plot holes because they too closely mirror many of our own flaws, of trying to control everything in our lives or not taking the lead in our desires.

Aside from that it’s a movie to escape from bad Tindering and politics, and enjoy as what it is, with the understanding that this is not based on a true story, nor does it accurately represent alternative sexual lifestyles. But if the film sparks your curiosity and encourages you to look into Ben Wa Balls, or starts the conversation about better bedroom shenanigans with your lover of choice, or begins to shift your views on sex positivity then I think the books and the films did what they were supposed to do.

I’ve noticed that a lot of guys proclaim to have never seen the movie, but I did not there were many more couples in the theater than I saw two years ago.

I know that it’s en vogue for men to write off a romance movie as a chick flick, but hear me out if you are in fact in a heterosexual relationship and you find that your girlfriend, wife, or lady friend is intrigued enough or bored enough to read the books/watch the films, then ask her about it, research on your own. We tend to be curious about things that are outside of our own lives because those things might not be a part of our everyday routines.

So just in your woman mentions anything leather or kink related, you’re not running the other way or side eyeing her because you have not taken the time to educate yourself.

Fifty Shades Darker, is not The Notebook or The Titantic, but as a surface-level erotic film, that has the potential to open up the dialogue about women and sex positivity, I think it does what it was meant to do.

What are your thoughts on the series? Has it sparked conversations in your own life?

Let me know in the comments, and may you #findsometlc while you’re at it.